Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger

I've begun cleaning out the back bedroom. The goal is to remove the carpet (which I shall accomplish today) and get everything dusted and cleaned up and throw in the cyclebike so that I can ride it. There are however boxes full of things from McMinnville that have to be gone through and bunches of things from Corvallis, too. Oh so much stuff in this house. You'd think 7 people lived here instead of just two. I'm hoping to accomplish cleaning things before school starts. I shall be a busy bee then with silly work for my silly classes. Best to have a nice clean house, or at least, a few clean rooms...

Love does no harm to a neighbor

I'm reading Transforming a Rape Culture. It has essays from Louise Edrich, Gloria Steinem, Andrea Dworkin, and others. It's quite interesting. I was particularly interested in the part pertaining to churches. It had never occurred to me before that pastors and priests are in a singularly unique position to help victims of spousal abuse. I thought back on all the years I spent in church. Now if we take 2 sermons a week or so for 15 years (that's a conservative estimate considering Catholic school and Wednesday church services), we get 1560 sermons or so. In all of that time I do not recall much of anything concerning abuse. Pastors and those in spiritual authority are readily accepted and welcome in people's homes. They have a connection that crisis centers and women's groups do not have and could not readily obtain.

I have known people who have talked to their pastors before about abuse or being raped and have been told pretty much to forgive and forget. This is more than likely counterproductive. It can be a very dangerous thing, especially in situations where the persons responsible for abuse have not repented or shown any signs of change or remorse. And I can imagine many dire consequences if an abuser is confronted without the acknowledgment or awareness of the person they've abused. I'm wondering now how much real training is given to pastors involving these matters. I imagine at some time it would have to come up in a course on ethics or something, but how many pastors are truly prepared to help people in the event that they are approached? For that matter, how many vocally make themselves approachable by speaking about the matter in a sermon or casually even with parishoners? People are much more likely to go forward and try to get help if they are aware that there are people who are prepared to help them with this specific problem and who they can trust. The church already has that trust. I just do not understand why I have never seen any real application of it.

I think I have a pretty okay memory, and although I've heard many sermons from Eph. 5 saying wives, submit to your husbands, and husbands love your wives, I do not think any of them really mentioned straight up the fact that in marriages, sometimes women are abused, and they are even raped. And a little sermon just telling everyone to love one another really doesn't quite make it clear that the church could help and is there to help women or men or children that are being hurt. I'm sure people would think, "oh well that's included in love your wife," and so people would assume you're not supposed to. (obviously) But I think it goes a long way if it is stated that there are things that are not acceptable and that the pastor is there to listen if anyone wishes to get help. It needs to be clear. And it needs to be honest. Sometimes, even though you may love people, you do a disservice to your love if you allow their behavior to dominate you and continue.

So my point is: I don't really like organized religion much, but since it's around, it might as well do as much good as it can. Churches and people in churches have an opportunity that I think may not be taken advantage of as often as it should be. There is a trust there and love that should be used to help, and I just hope Christian colleges or programs to train pastors at least give a thorough going over on the matter of abuse and resources available to people. I think they need to be vocal about it, especially considering who they would be dealing with and the personal religious beliefs that could somehow keep someone from getting the help they need (be it to save their marriage, or to avoid embarassment or anything like that). Not sweep it under the rug like our old friend Pope John Paul II, allowing people who know about child abuse, or perpetrators themselves the luxury of hiding behind the Vatican. With as much power and influence as the church has, I really think they could do a lot of good if they woke up, spoke up, and maybe spent even half as much time on things like this as they do on telling us how to vote or protesting abortions, etc. They'd probably be surprised at how many people in their churches or outside of them even are so afflicted, and how much just one statement from a pulpit can really make.

Because I need some Tori

Maybe I didn't like to hear
But I still can't believe speed racer is dead
So then I thought I'd make some plans
But fire thought she'd really rather be water instead

And peggy got a message for me
From jesus
And I've heard every word that you have said
And I know I have been driven like the snow

This is cooling
Faster than I can
This is cooling
Faster than I can

But do I hate what she is
But do I want to be her
And don't we love something fresh
Anything new, virgin

Woman you got too many brambles
Hiding under these bushes
Woman you got too many brambles
But I always liked a good storm
I'm always good for a storm

So then love walked up to like
And said I know that you don't like me much
Let's go for a ride
This ocean is wrapped around that pineapple tree

And is your place in heaven
Worth giving up these kisses
These, these kisses

And peggy got a message for me
From jesus
And I've heard every word that you have said
And I know I have been driven like the snow, but

This is cooling
Faster than I can
Hey yes, faster than I can
Hey, this is cooling
This is cooling

Marjie- It's kind of magic.

I love this Sloganizer! Who knew I was so great? Nice to be backed by some winning words. Constant changing affirmation! Isn't it wonderful? Children should have sloganizer buttons with their names on them that cycle through encouraging slogans--bolster that self-esteem a bit through amusing cliché. Timeless classics to offset any unfortunate realities in their miserable lives. Kasi--living innovations. Don't mess with Martin. With a name like John, it has to be good.

It is six in the morning. I read a very nice short story earlier, and I think it woke me up. My brain got all staticy. Normally, I do not like short stories. I like a few, but it's never been a genre that I've really bothered spending time with. I liked this one though. So instead of sleeping, I'm sitting and playing poker with a dreary lot and listening to Sports Center. Stever is watching it. He is heading off to a wedding later in Portlandia. I am staying here. I do not know the wedding party, and I don't find weddings very interesting or enjoyable. More uncomfortable, unnecessariliy involved and costly. Simplify. Simplify. Simplify. I'm missing all my draws. It is Party Poker at its finest.

The state sport of Maryland is jousting.
Why do the snow leopards have four and one half stars? Because they are super precious meow meows, that's why! (Nothing like kitty cats to turn someone all girly)

xPosted LJ

"You seventeen huh
and having me that will ruin everything huh
there's a lot of angels waiting for their wings
you see me in your sleep so you cant kill your dreams
300 Dollars thats the price of living what?
I dont like this clinic
hopefully you'll make the right decision
and dont go though with the knife decision"

I was just watching MTVh and they started playing the stupidest anti-abortion music video. "Let Me Live" by Nick Cannon. It disturbs me that something that should be a perfectly viable, safe, and guilt-free option is vilified by people--especially people that can't even get pregnant!

I've been watching Strangers With Candy and eating banana split ice cream. I like Tilamook ice cream. It's one thing you miss when you live too far away from the West Coast. The train car Mulder is in just caught fire. Will he escape and live beneath the rock long enough to be found by his Native American friends in time for them to perform the Blessing Way? Yes, yes he will! and there will be sunflower seeds and chatting with dead people and golly, what fun! Mars is very bright in the sky. Katie Holmes and I think it's "kinda neat."

Smile like you mean it

I like just leaving the page up so I can switch back to it every thirty seconds and see my new super awesome slogan! See the things by which I am encumbered? Hah. Construction started over down on the other side of the far end of the property. We got a letter saying they would be working 7 am to 6 pm for the next four weeks, and possibly on weekends as well. Apparently they need to make up for lost time or something. The distance to the end of the property is considerable enough for the noise to not really be a problem, although I imagine it could get louder once they get going. Over the trees and blackberry bushes you can see trucks and equipment moving abouts. I feel bad for the deer that hang out here, but suburbia demands its place. It would like to be this place as well, but not until Stever and I are out of school and moved somewhere else. I'm not even sure if his father will sell it then, but I suppose eventually that is what will happen. And then suburbia will have it all. And I bet the apple and pear trees will not survive.

I am still right here

Stayed up all night.
Picked up tickets to see the Beavers.
First game at the new stadium.
Should be fun.
Finished reading 2061.
My computer is messed up.
Need to reformat.
But it may be beyond that.

I unaware move against my will

Comfy cozy in my ZERO shirt. Singing Billy songs under my breath. My game of poker is about to start. Early morning poker is fun. I am also going to make some white cheddar popcorn (It is not as good as I had hoped--in fact, it's kind of gross. I don't think I'll eat it. I still want to try caramel apple though.) and perhaps I will be tired soon. I'm using Stever's account instead of mine, which is unfortunate in that it makes me stever_33 instead of my account, PromQueen. The name is useful. Who wouldn't want to call the PromQueen?

I really need to get started on making this place more presentable. Housework has never been my forte. I need to remove the carpet from that back room. Then I shall hook up some music and move a cyclebike of the stationary variety into it. The vicar is in the window of that room. He eats up batteries, but I like the idea of his red blinky eyes constantly staring in the direction of suburbia. He's a happy face as I head down the driveway to get the mail. Well, he really is supposed to look sinister, but he's just super precious is what he is! I hope it scares away any do-gooder types like the LDS or those Witnesses from Jehovah! The No Trespassing sign sitting on the tiny chair in front of the door probably will put off any of those who find the Vicar as pleasant as I do.

There is a myriad of horrible movies on at this time of night/morning. Brad Pitt is trying to be Achilles and failing miserably. Gregory Peck is being Captain Ahab, which really isn't that bad of a movie, but his beard is so silly looking. And Nick Nolte and Julia Roberts should not be seen alone or together in movies. Trouble is right. There's also a peculiar show for children about morality. And Superman is flying around the world so fast that he returns before he left, in time to save his girlfriends life. Rock.

Chaos Theory

Drinking, eating miniature candy bars and watching Jurassic Park. How very... American. Methinks Mr. Spielberg was a bit too generous in allowing so many of them to live. Hurry kid, Laura Dern is turning on the fences!! Danger at every turn! IT'S UNIX! The velociraptor will make a tasty brunch of them if she doesn't "boot up the door locks." Heheh. Havoc and mayhem! Anything that can happen does and will! Steve is talking to the Comcast people. 24 hour customer support. How handy. It doesn't help fix the problem, but at least they try. They aren't magic though. Nor do they have a John Williams score. The mother from Family Ties is advertising life insurance. She is getting old. Really. I guess it's been a long time since I sat watching Alex build the Reagan ranch out of popsicle sticks...Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies, you creepy electric grandmother. Go peddle your juice magics to some other more trusting children, you freak. I'm watching Cold Pizza on ESPN now. It is hours since I began this post and lo and behold, it never really went anywhere. I just emailed Woody Paige and Skip Bayless. And I put on a big orange Beavers hoody. A school for engineers. And the lovers of rain and good bargains. Time for sleep I think. It will be 7 am soon. Heh

The weirdness flows between us

It's 3:30 in the morning. Perhaps I shall just stay up and see if Discovery returns uneventfully. I am getting a bit tired, but sleeping is just another opportunity to dream, and what fun is that. Last night I dreamed it was my first day on the job at a barber shop and it got robbed. It's easy to see why considering the owner of the shop only had a metal box for a cash register. It was like the ones people use at garage sales. The receipts had to be hand written, and I had to make the robber a turkey sandwich since the barber shop also sold half sandwiches for 3.75. The night before that I dreamed of a white monolith transporting me through space and time. But the monolith changed into a radar speed control sign and after that a piece of crumpled spiral notebook paper. Eventually I lost the paper and ended up in a place where I kept a horse in a room in my house, until, sadly, I realized that one room just wasn't big enough for a horse to stay in, and I gave him away. I want dreamless sleep. I wake up tired far too often. Oh, it looks as though it will be landing in California instead. (I did indeed watch them land. I meant to go to bed but decided to drink some POG and watch the lil astronauts do their thing).

Jesse has internet again, or something. And a hole in his stomach. The alcohol makes it just that much better I'm sure. I miss talking to him. One very strange person. I probably won't see him for ages considering all the girls he dates hate me (even though I've never met any of them). I always liked the old ladies that lived on the ground floor of his house. Now he lives in hippyville Eugene, where I do not set foot if I can help it.

I hate Daylight Savings Time, and now they're going to extend it.

I'm glad they managed to rescue the fellows on the Russian submarine. I personally much prefer this:

"I can only thank our English colleagues for their joint work and the help they gave in order to complete this operation within the time we had available that is, before the oxygen reserves ran out." -Rear Admiral Vladimir Pepelyayev

to this:

"We lost the best submarine crew in the Northern Fleet. Forgive your children. Forgive your sons. And forgive me for not bringing back your boys." -Admiral Vyacheslav Popov click

Some of my favorite poems

Crow's Theology by Ted Hughes
Auguries of Innocence by William Blake
Evangeline by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Loading Mercury with a Pitchfork by Richard Brautigan
The Hollow Men by T.S. Eliot

We fall but our souls are flying

"There is an electric fire in human nature tending to purify so that among these human creatures there is continually some birth of new heroism. The pity is that we must wonder at it, as we should at finding a pearl in rubbish." -John Keats

The temperature has gone down this week. It was a blazing 100+ for a while, and now it is a leisurely (ha) 90-95. The foil over the living room windows helps. We're a shiny farm house beacon of light no doubt to 53nd St. down below... Well, if there weren't so many trees... The fair was this past week, and being only about 1/2 mile from the fairgrounds, we would hear people squealing and screaming on rides along with god awful music from a variety of genres. Too bad there was no faint, whafting scent of funnel cake.

I watched an odd show on showtime last night. It was the pilot for Weeds. I like Mary-Louise Parker and smoking, so I watched this "comedy." It was really rather sad though. M-LP's husband dies and she turns to selling weed so that she can maintain her family's standard of living. Although I suppose parts of it were comical, it really was quite a downer. Maybe if people get high before they watch it, it will be funnier?

Haven't seen Scarah online since I probably offended her by arguing with her. It does no good, naturally, when neither side can really appreciate what the other has to say. Why god should be such an obstacle is beyond me. There are so much more important things in life. I should not have been so rude though and obstinate. Conviction is no excuse for that. I suppose I think slightly differently from others. Whereas some (not Scarah, others) are willing to get mad at any little thing, I really only argue and voice things when they are important to me. And to have them so casually dismissed with a "you can never understand because you don't talk to Him," well that offends me.

School will start in a couple months. I keep worrying that perhaps I do not have what it takes to be a good student--being so apathetic and prone to annoyance when given menial tasks and hoops to jump through. I enjoy learning, but I doubt my own intelligence, wondering if it will be enough. I think back on all my friends and acquaintances in school though and think, it cannot possibly be that difficult if some of them got through it. State schools are no doubt fairly easy. Having never gone to college though, I really couldn't say for certain. I have high hopes... high hopes... It will be nice though to have access to gyms and computer labs and there's even the range where I can shoot guns. Ever since having one shoved in my mouth, I've found guns rather interesting and would like to at least learn the basic mechanics involved in operating one. OSU has a crash course in safety.